This post is for people who are feeling like they are not quite reaching their full potential or living life as their most true self. I have found that a lot of time in life, our minds get clouded by certain beliefs, fears, or thoughts about ourselves that prevent us from being who we truly are. 

These beliefs, fears, and thoughts are definitely things that are a part of you, but they do not define you. You have your thoughts/beliefs/fears, but then you have this other part of your mind that is very aware of those thoughts and can actually distinguish that some of those thoughts/fears/etc are not actually true to who you are.

I think that part of your brain that is always “aware” is what you might describe as your soul, higher self, or true self.

I believe that these are great terms and I might use them interchangeably sometimes, but most of the time I will refer to it as your “true self”.

The reason I like to call it your true self is because I think this part of your brain reflects who you are to your very core. It knows your core values and it can understand your emotions.

It is the part that takes a step back from your immediate surroundings and feelings assess what’s really going on.

I think that also knows what you truly want in life.

You might have noticed that sometimes when you are trying to make a tough decision and you are analyzing it from every angle, and you feel almost completely torn over the idea, but there’s this one part of your brain that just knows what you really want.

Sometimes we just ignore that part of the brain because we think that logic should prevail or that there are so many expectations of us that we can’t do what we want.

I think that a lot of us are actually so out of touch with this true self, that we don’t even know how to listen to it anymore.

But if we actually learned how to listen to this part of ourselves, we would actually start doing more things that we love and that fulfill our souls, and we would be so much happier for it. 

 Everyone of you has had certain traumas and experiences in their lives that have shaped the person that you are today. They have caused certain fears and belief systems that are pretty engrained into who you are as a person. Now, these ways of thinking have started to block your true self and what you really want.

You need to start digging through all that garbage to find that true self. Once you do, your life will change and you can start working towards a life where you will be truly happy.

So how do we remove the garbage to connect (or reconnect) with our true selves?

Getting over our fears and traumas

I believe that one of the biggest reasons that we lose touch with our true selves comes down to fear. We all have fears, and usually pretty common ones: fears of disappointing others, fears of losing money, fear of losing love, and more like that.

These fears are all possibilities on some level, but none of those fears are life threatening and those things happen all the time and life moves on. You can’t let them hold you back because the chance of them happening is low – and if they do happen, you will be stronger for it.

Now getting over fears is no easy task and very difficult to get into in this post, but you can check out my more in depth article about how I overcame my fears here.

Getting over your limiting beliefs

Similar to overcoming fears, you also probably have some beliefs that are holding you back as well. Such as “Most people don’t succeed doing what I want to do”, “I could never accomplish this goal”, “that’s just not how things are done”. FRIG THAT!

Stop worrying and stop being afraid about what others think and what is traditionally done in society. You can do whatever you want to do and whatever you put your mind to.

The only reason we have any progress in this world is because of people who didn’t listen to these negative thoughts and decided to just believe in themselves and make things happen.


Now how can we even know who our true self is if we are so clouded by these fears and limiting beliefs?

Well, what I think that we just have to imagine our idea of the absolute best version of ourselves. I think that who we truly want to be is who we actually are, we just haven’t got there yet.

But this doesn’t mean that you should want to be something else or someone you’re not, but you want to think about the enhanced/best version of you.

For example:

Let’s say that you are a shy person because you are afraid of embarrassing yourself.

You wish you were more outgoing like other people you see that are cracking jokes and making people laugh. You really love talking to people but you aren’t really crazy outgoing even around you’re close friends.

Your true self (or one aspect of your true self) would be someone who is friendly and confident talking to new people.

What your true self would not be is that crazy outgoing person always cracking jokes. Because that’s just really not your personality – even without the shyness and holding back.

Even though it would be nice to be that person, it is not in line with who you really are.

The best course of action would be to overcome that fear of socialization to be yourself in front of other people and not try to overcompensate by becoming somebody that you’re not. Make sense?

The goal is not to be fake, the goal is to be you, but without all the fears and garbage holding you back.

It can be difficult to actually imagine who this “true self” is, if you haven’t been in touch with it in a while.

Here are some questions to ask yourself that can help you with this:

  1. What is your personality like around your closest friends?
  2. What is your personality like when you are alone or uninhibited?
  3. What would your dream job/dream life be?
  4. What inspires you?
  5. Where would you live if you could live anywhere?
  6. What are your true friends like? or if you haven’t found your true friends, what would they be like? (Our friends are a reflection of ourselves, so this can be a helpful question)
  7. What is your partner/ideal partner like?
  8. What is your biggest goal? (or goals)
  9. What are you like when you are at your best/feeling very inspired/feeling free and uninhibited?
  10. What would you be doing if you had nothing holding you back?

If you answer these questions, you will have a much better idea of who you are. You should also start to realize the holdbacks that you need to overcome to get there.

Part of my goal with this blog is to help you figure out those hurtles that are preventing you from aligning with your true self and reaching your goals.

Stay tuned for some more articles and exercises for you to start overcoming those things standing in your way and then finding ways to enhance your life further and make it even more awesome!

If you want some extra help reaching your personal or professional goals, you should check out my Free Dream Life Goal Planner. It will help you to understand what you want in life and it will walk you through the steps you will need to take to get there! I’m also coming out with a free mindset training too, which will dive into your fears and bad habits that are holding you back from your true potential in life. I’ll be sending giving the option to sign up to everyone who signs up for the Dream Life Planner (once I finally finish making the course!).