Setting New Year’s resolutions is something most of us do every single year, but it seems like almost none of us ever seem to follow through with them. So it begs the question, why do our New Year’s resolutions always fail? 

Does this situation sound familiar to you?

It’s January 1st. You’re motivated, you’re inspired, and you’re ready to totally SLAY your New Year’s Resolutions! “THIS year”, you think, “is going to be the year I make BIG changes in my life!”.

But after a few weeks into January, you start to notice something…

You start to notice that all those “big changes” you were planning are just…not happening.

What’s the deal?! Why is it that year after year, we so often FAIL to keep our New Year’s Resolutions?

I saw a funny quote the other day that said “every night I go to bed believing that tomorrow I’ll wake up with the motivation and work ethic that I have never displayed in my entire life.”

Honestly, I think this may just be the most relatable thing I’ve ever read.

It took me YEARS to learn how to develop the motivation to truly stick with my goals. It wasn’t easy, and it took practice – and there were definitely times when I strayed off track and had to find my way back again.

But throughout all this practice, I learned a LOT about how our minds work with regards to setting goals for ourselves. So I’ll get right into it, with:

Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail

The number one reason why most people fail to keep their New Year’s Resolutions is undoubtedly because they are setting goals that are FAR TOO HIGH.

Although it may seem like it’s a good thing to set high goals, in reality, it just sets you up for disappointment down the road.

Ultimately, when you set goals that are too high, you’re expecting yourself to somehow magically adopt new habits overnight. AS IF adopting new habits was that easy!

The truth is, changing our habits is a lot more difficult than we think.

Over the years, I’ve learned that our ability to pursue our goals and stick with new habits is a combination of two things:

1. Our underlying motivation behind our goals, and
2. The habits we already have

In order to make goals and form new habits that we actually stick to, we need to get to the root cause of WHY we want this habit in the first place. How will it make us feel? Happier, more confident, more at ease? How is it going to change our life for the better?

On top of that, we also need to take into consideration the habits we already have. If you naturally wake up at 10am every morning, then setting your New Year’s Resolution to waking up at 6am may not be the most realistic thing to do. Think about your lifestyle as it already is – what are your current habits?

New Year’s Resolutions typically fail when your goals look something like this:

I want to wake up at x time to work out every day and lose x amount of weight by x date

If this is your goal, I can almost guarantee you that you won’t stick with this in the long run. Why? Because this goal does NOT sound fun. It sounds like you’re forcing yourself to do a whole lot of work for a number on the scale!

When you make goals simply in the hopes of reaching a final end point (like losing x amount of weight), you’re not forming sustainable goals. Instead, you’re trying to force habits onto yourself that don’t actually feel good to you and that WON’T work with your lifestyle – which is why you’ll never feel like doing them!

BUT, your New Year’s Resolutions will be less likely to fail if they look something like this:

I want to build a lifestyle that makes me feel energized in the morning – I want to move my body before work, and I want to feel good throughout the day

This is a MUCH healthier and more achievable goal because it doesn’t confine you to strict boundaries and tight guidelines. Instead of coming from a place of enforcement and restriction, it comes from a place of encouragement and inspiration. This way, you’ll feel much more motivated to actually work towards your goal.

They key is creating goals that are sustainable – ones that you want to pursue, ones that don’t feel like work

One very important thing to remember when it comes to sustainable goals is that you can’t expect them to happen overnight. There’s no way you’re going to be able to go from never exercising on January 1st to all of a sudden being Kayla Itsines on the 5th!

These habits take TIME.

It’s always uncomfortable implementing new habits at first – but if you make sure that your habits are things you actually enjoy doing and make you feel good, then reaching your goals is going to be SO much easier!

Some final tips to help you keep your New Year’s Resolutions:

1. Focus on how you want to feel, rather than what you want to achieve. This will help reframe your mind into thinking about your goals as something you truly want, rather than something you need.
2. Don’t make too many resolutions at once! Start out by choosing just one or two good goals – it may not seem like much, but trust me, it’ll be enough!
3. Don’t expect miracles overnight. Remember that changing habits takes time.
4. Write down your action plan – this will help you make solid steps towards actually reaching your goals. The more detail, the more likely you are to succeed.
5. Keep a journal to track your progress. Write down everything – the good and the bad. This will help you learn from your mistakes and keep moving forward.

And finally – remember to go easy on yourself. Make sure your resolutions are coming from a place of self-love and self-respect rather than just self-improvement for the sake of self-improvement. Enjoy the process and embrace the detours. This is what it’s all about!

We all want to learn how to change our habits for the better. Let me be more accurate – we all want to learn how to change our habits for the better as quickly as possible!

I mean, let’s be honest – how many times have we written our New Year’s Resolutions determined that come January 1st, we will be this totally new and improved version of ourselves? Ta-da!

Well, I’ve been studying habits for quite some time now, and sadly, there isn’t really a “quick-fix” way to change your habits – which is why most people FAIL.

Think about it – when you try to change your habits too quickly, your lifestyle won’t be able to keep up. You get overwhelmed, you get disheartened, and then you go straight back to ground zero. 

But don’t worry just yet, because I’ve got some great news…

You CAN change your habits and the course of your life IMMEDIATELY with this one little-known secret…

So what’s the big secret?

Well, it all comes down to you making a decision. You must make the simple decision that you want to change, but you must ACCEPT that this change will be SLOW!

Okay, I know I said that this article was about changing habits quickly, but I need to access the people that think this is possible – and then give them a big REALITY CHECK!

 That’s why this article should really be called…

How to Change Your Habits Quickly by Going Slowly

Paradoxical, I know. But honestly: the fastest way to change your habits quickly is to GO SLOWLY – making tiny changes that will give BIG rewards. 

And I’m going to show you exactly how to do this in just 3 simple steps:

Step 1: Start by changing your mindset

It all starts with your mindset. If you decide to change your life, you can and you will.

Your mindset is so unbelievably powerful. So powerful that people have used pure willpower to overcome extreme life circumstances – reaching crazy levels of success and achieving near unfathomable things (let’s not forget the mothers who have literally lifted cars to save their children).

If you have a strong will, you can do just about anything!

Of course it does take time to overcome your mental blocks, but that initial decision to change your habits for the better is what can change it all!

Here are the 3 most important mindset shifts you need:

1. Learn to be patient: your habits won’t change overnight. You need to realize it will take a bit of time. Be patient with yourself and don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t happen as quickly as you’d like it to.

2. Shift from thinking that you need this new habit to actually wanting this new habit: you need to remind yourself that this habit will bring you to a place that you want to be in life. Don’t think of it as a chore, or something to tick of your New Year’s Resolutions list, think of it as something that will make you genuinely happier in your day-to-day life.

3. Understand that new habits will be TOUGH at first: you have to push through the discomfort – that’s the only way you’ll be able to reach a point where your habits will stick.

Step 2: Don’t expect your entire life to all of a sudden change – start with just ONE habit

Start with ONE habit that you want to change that will give you the most reward. By starting with one small change and sticking with it each day, you’ll get into the habit of self-improvement and continuous growth. Over time, this will snowball into big changes in your life!

In my course on personal development and habit-building (which is coming soon, btw!), I talk about the idea of habit stacking. This is the BEST and easiest way to make lasting change, because it allows you to build upon your habits over time.

It also works great because it makes you develop a “cue” that will remind you to do your new habit every day.

Here’s a quick and easy way to habit stack using cues: 

1. Start by choosing the habit that you think will change your daily routine the most (and for the best). For example, waking up earlier.
2. Once you have gotten used to this habit, add another habit that builds off of the first one. For example, adding 5 minutes of exercise to your morning routine. 
3. Once both of those habits are in place (after about a month or so), add yet another habit onto them. For example, making a healthy breakfast that will fuel your day.

This technique works well because it allows each of your habits to become cues for the next habit, allowing you to add habit after habit to create a routine that works for you!

Step 3: Make a goal plan to help you change your habits

Making a plan can change your life. It can lead to real results and lasting change.

Just the simple act of writing something down that you are looking forward to can make you feel so much happier and more motivated!

That’s why it’s important to write down a simple goal plan that outlines all the steps that you need to take in order to reach your goals and change your habits.

This will serve as a daily reminder that outlines specific steps that will make the whole process of changing your habits much easier. 

Some tips for helping you make an effective goal plan include:

– Choosing habits that will serve your wider goals

– Choosing habits that compliment each other (for example, habits that are easily stackable)

Give yourself two weeks to a month to allow for each new habit to become ingrained in your routine. And remember – some habits will come quicker than others!

The time is NOW to change your habits!

You CAN change your habits and you CAN change your life – and you can do this all right now.

As long as you are willing and able to accept that these changes won’t necessarily be instant – and that they will take real effort and determination – then you’ve already done half the battle!

Some closing words of wisdom to help you going forward:

– It all starts with 3 key mindset shifts – learning to be patient, shifting from thinking that you need to change your habits to actually wanting to change your habits, and understanding that incorporating new habits will be tough at first

– Think baby steps: start small with just one habit change, and work your way up from there

– Take some time to write down a goal plan that outlines the practical steps you need to take to change your habits

– And lastly (but definitely not least!) – don’t be too hard on yourself. Remember that changing your habits is a difficult thing to do – so don’t worry if you run into some bumps in the road (this is normal!). Celebrate the small wins – because it’s the small wins that will over time turn into the big wins.

I love vision boards, the law of attraction, and manifesting so much! They are amazing ways to attract the goals you want! A lot of people like to make their vision boards and then “let go” and not look at them, which is one way of doing things, but I like to be reminded of my goals and dreams every day! That’s why I’ve come up with some fun vision board alternatives to give you daily inspiration and help skyrocket your goals as we move into 2020!

Here are my Top Vision Board Alternatives for Achieving Your Goals!

Alternative #1: Vision board photo wall

Simply having some cute photos pinned to your wall is another great way to start a vision board (or turn it into something amazing!)

You can cut pictures from magazines, print some off the internet, write quotes – whatever you would do for a vision board, but this can be ever changing. You can add, remove, replace, and make it something really special!

And you can keep it where you can see it, like I do!

Vision board alternative #2: sticky notes where you can see them

Sticky notes can be absolutely great for manifesting! You can write down your intentions, positive affirmations, big goals – and place them around your living space where you can get reminders!

You can also put pictures too if you’d like, but sticky notes are just so easy!

Tip: Write down your intentions as if you already have done them! And sprinkle in some gratitude to that!

Example: I am grateful that I have my 6-figure dream job.

Alternative #3: audio “vision board”

I find this one really exciting! I love the power of meditations and listening to audio to increase the power of your record a message of your hopes and dreams and listen to it each morning.

Again, with this you can record positive affirmations, messages of gratitude, setting an intention for the day, list your goals as if you have them, or anything else you would like!

Here’s a voice recording app for apple and this one is for android.

Visional board alternative #4: Using a goal planner (like this one!)

I love using a goal planner! It’s such a great way to break down your goals into easy tasks that you can complete and feel good about!

It’s the best way to reach your goals (in my opinion) because it helps you look at it in small chunks, which makes everything less overwhelming and much more do-able!

#5. Pinterest vision board

This is kind of the point of Pinterest in a way!

It’s a great, virtual way to gather all of your important dreams and goals into one place!

You can also find great tips for reaching your goals on there too!

(bonus tip: have a bookmark in your browser linking to your Pinterest vision board so that you can refer to it when you need some extra inspiration!)

#6. Vision Journal

Use a journal or journal prompts for fulfilling your visions!

You can write your affirmations each morning/evening to set your day up for success!

Keep a journal by your bed so that you remember to do it!

#7. Guided vision meditations/visual meditations as an alternative

Guided meditations are a great way to help you manifest and create a solid vision. 

This is a way that you can practice the law of attraction daily, in an active way!

There are so many great options out there on youtube, you can get a manifestation video for pretty much anything you want!

There’s also a cool website called mindmovies, which I’ve never personally used – but they create powerful manifestation videos for specific goals. Could be worth a shot!

Do you have a favourite vision board alternative?

Let me know in the comments!

A couple years ago I quit my high-paying job because it was making me stressed and unhappy. I took the time off to work on my mental health and figure out what I really wanted to do in life.

After a whole lotta soul-searching, I came to the realization that my one true calling was to create this blog, Mindaya. I wanted to help people, because I didn’t want anyone else to feel the way I was feeling at my worst (which you can read about here!).

Fast forward to today – I have my own online business, my mental health is in the BEST condition it’s ever been in, and I feel genuinely fulfilled. It was with this new, healthy mindset that I realized I was ready to go back to my 9-5 job. Why? because I knew that in order to make my dream work (this blog), I needed to have some extra money to help make it great. But this time, I wasn’t going to let my 9-5 job take over my life. Nope – this time, it was going to be on my own terms.

I’m now working again at the job I had years ago, but it’s a whole lot different now – that is, a whole lot better. So I thought I’d share with you how exactly I made this happen. *Spoiler alert* – it all came down to manifesting!

So to anyone else who feels “stuck” in a job or a routine that they don’t like or that makes them unhappy – I want you to know that you too have the power in you to choose what you want. Whether that’s shifting jobs, finding a new career path, starting a business, or finding the confidence to ask for what YOU want in your current job – it’s all totally possible!

Here are the things that I learned when manifesting my dream job

1. I knew what I wanted

When it comes to getting what you want in life, it’s important to take some time to make a goal plan and figure out what will truly make you happy on a deep level. This is going to take a lot of self-reflection, so make sure you spend some time on this.

For me, I discovered that the two things that would make me happy were:

1. Using my creative talents
2. Not working a ton of hours

I know that I’m not the type of person that can handle boatloads of work. I just don’t have it in me. I need my rest and relaxation time – and a lot of it.

I also know that I need to be creative to feel fulfilled. This is something that is really important to my wellbeing.

At the time, my 9-5 job wasn’t giving me these two things that I needed. It wasn’t allowing me to express my creative potential, and it was far too demanding of my time.

So I knew that to combat this, I needed to do two things: first, I needed to carve out a creative outlet for myself. Enter this blog, Mindaya! Second, I needed to significantly reduce my hours at my desk job (so that I could have enough time to spend on my creative outlet!).

2. I asked for what I wanted

This is something I have found to be very useful in my life when manifesting my desires and going after my goals. And it’s a very simple reason for why it works: you are letting people know what you want! You can’t get what you want if you don’t take any steps to go get it!

Everyone’s situation is very different, so use your judgement if you are asking for what you want. There are definitely limitations to this point, so this is more of just an idea for you based on what has worked for me.

For me, I knew that I needed to talk to my boss about my hours. So I floated the idea of less hours and the ability to work remotely.

Luckily, I had a great rapport with them already because I used to work with them (and they liked me!), so this was something that they were willing to agree to. Success!

The funny thing is, it was all so easy! It never occurred to me before that I could just ask for what I wanted, but that’s really all it took!

So once you know what you want, put some feelers out! Just see if what you want is a possibility, you may be surprised at what you’ll get!

3. I knew my worth

When I was working at this job before, I wasn’t getting paid nearly as much as I am now. It was actually a stroke of luck that I saw the job posting online – and they were offering a lot more than I was making at the time!

This was probably to entice more experienced people to apply, but I knew that I was worth that much as well, even though I was less experienced.

I’ve always been uncomfortable asking for money and I was certainly uncomfortable when I asked for that much. So I really had to take a look at my needs, my values, my commitment, my strengths – and I finally came to the conclusion that I needed more money to support myself in the way I needed.

4. I had to be flexible

Although I’m now working my job on my own terms, it still may not be my “dream job” forever and ever. I know this. However, at the moment, it’s allowing me to live the lifestyle I want – and that’s the main thing. I know that in the future, my priorities may change and evolve, and this job may also change and evolve. And that’s totally okay.

Life changes every day, week, month, and year – and we all will inevitably change along with it. This is a beautiful thing, because change = growth. So I personally try not to get too attached to my current situation, whatever it may be.