The #1 secret to going after a goal that scares you

The #1 secret to going after a goal that scares you

If you’re anything like me, then I’m willing to bet you have a head full of dreams, a heart full of ambition, and a journal full of goals.

And if you’re anything like me, I’m also willing to bet you have a goal or two on that list that is SO big that it actually scares you.

Why is it that our biggest goals are the ones that scare us the most? And more importantly, how can we overcome this fear?

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Do you remember when you were a child and people used to ask you, “what do you want to be when you grow up”? And do you remember always telling them with confidence EXACTLY what you wanted to be – no matter how big and ambitious that “something” may have been?

The beautiful thing about being a child is that the world was a blank canvas through our eyes – ready for us to finger-paint anything and everything our imaginations could dream up. We never for a second doubted that we could accomplish what we wanted.

As we get older, however, this childlike optimism slowly begins fading away. Instead of looking upon our dreams with confidence, we begin looking at them with hesitation, apprehension, and fear.

This is because as we get older, we start focusing our attention on all the things we have to do to actually reach our dreams.

This, of course, does nothing but overwhelm us.

So instead of going after our biggest dreams and grandest goals, we put them off. We make excuses. We never actually act upon them.

If this sounds familiar to you, don’t worry – you’re not alone. Many of us struggle to go after our biggest, scariest goals in life.

However, there is a way to get past this fear, and there is a way to start going after your big, scary goals NOW (in a way that would make your childhood self proud!).

And in this blog post, I’m going to show you exactly how.

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First, let’s look at where we tend to go wrong:

Overthinking and under-doing

The more you think about what you need to do to reach your goal, the more complicated it seems to get.

This is because overthinking leads to a vicious cycle of doubt, fear, and uncertainty. We stand at the cliff’s edge looking out into a big, wide ocean and we think, “how on earth am I going to swim that whole thing? Where do I even begin?!”

We then start creating problems in our head that we haven’t even experienced yet, or that may not even be there.

Before I began going after my dream of starting my own business, I was getting caught up in this very cycle. I couldn’t stop stressing about all the ‘obstacles’ that were in front of me (that is, the obstacles I thought were in front of me). 

The more I thought, the scarier it seemed.

My adult brain kept sounding the alarm bells – trying to convince me that it’s all too much, it’s all too difficult. Trying to convince me that I just can’t do it.

The thing is, all the problems I was thinking about were just in my head. I hadn’t even expereinced any of them yet!

Because of my fear, there were many times when I was ready to give up before even trying. I would have given up, too, if it wasn’t for discovering this one secret that was about to change my life.

 

The secret to achieving your biggest goals in life:

Less goals, more habits

If you want to get serious about your biggest goals in life, then you need to stop thinking about them as goals.

What do I mean by this? Well, when we think about ‘goals’, we tend to think of them as final destinations – the end result of something. While this can definitely be useful in some contexts, when it comes to our BIGGEST goals in life, it’s not so helpful.

This is because for our biggest goals, the final destination is something SO big and SO far away, it seems nearly impossible to get to from where we’re standing.

And THIS is what scares us. THIS is what leads to all the overthinking.

So instead of thinking about your biggest ‘goals’ in terms of an end result, you need to think about them as the gradual accumulation of good habits over time. This changes the focus from something elusive and out of reach to something that is completely accessible – right now.

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Goals lie in the future, habits are in the NOW

The great thing about habits is that they encourage doing rather than just thinking. They’re about action and effort instead of planning action and effort. 

When we start working on incorporating daily habits into our life, we suddenly don’t have time to worry about how to get to the end result…

We’re too busy just getting there!

The more time we spend practicing these habits, the more they become incorporated into our daily routine. And it’s this steady, every-growing accumulation of good habits that’s what’s going to lead us to accomplishing our grandest goals in life. 

Keep in mind that it certainly won’t happen overnight, and it may not even be super obvious when we ‘finally get there’. You’re not going to look at your calendar and say, “Ah! Tomorrow is the day that I finally achieve my biggest goal in life!”.

Instead, it will slowly and quietly unfold behind the scenes. It will blossom and bloom on the sidelines. It won’t make a loud noise, and it won’t cause a commotion. We may not even fully notice it until we really take a minute to stop and think. 

Only then will we realize just how far our habits have carried us.

Only then will we realize that we’ve truly achieved our biggest goal in life

So to anyone who’s standing at cliff’s edge wondering how to make that first jump and how to get to the finish point, it’s time to stop wondering, and it’s time to start doing.

It’s time to focus on your habits!

100+ journal prompts for your mental health

100+ journal prompts for your mental health

  Just want to let ya know: The information and tips on this website are from my personal experience with anxiety and are not a substitute for any type of medical, psychological or health advice. You can view our full disclaimer policy here.

There is always help out there, and you can find a mental health professional locally, through your doctor, or through an online directory like this one. This is a link to a great article with affordable therapy options and this is an affiliate link to a great online therapy option. If you are in a crisis, I have a list of help hotlines here. You are not alone!!

  Just want to let ya know: The information and tips on this website are from my personal experience with anxiety and are not a substitute for any type of medical, psychological or health advice. You can view our full disclaimer policy here.

There is always help out there, and you can find a mental health professional locally, through your doctor, or through an online directory like this one. This is a link to a great article with affordable therapy options and this is an affiliate link to a great online therapy option. If you are in a crisis, I have a list of help hotlines here. You are not alone!!

5 simple mantras to reduce stress

5 simple mantras to reduce stress

You know when you feel like you have a million and one things to do and NO time to do them? When your to-do list just seems to be getting longer and longer as the day goes on? Or when you’re so overwhelmed that even the smallest of tasks puts you over the edge?

Well, we’ve all been there. And this is exactly where a mantra comes in handy!

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How mantras work

First of all – what exactly is a mantra?

A mantra is a word or phrase that you repeat to yourself in order to alter your consciousness and re-shape the way you see your reality. Sounds like magic, right? It’s pretty close to it!

Here’s why it works – our reality is shaped by the way we think about reality. And the way we think about reality is shaped by what we say

For example, if you’re constantly putting yourself down by saying “I’m so stupid” or “I’m so ugly”, you’ll start to truly believe it! The more you say these negative things about yourself, the more your brain will think it’s a fact.

Mantras work, therefore, by instilling positive ways of thinking into your mind by”forcing” you to think good thoughts! When it comes to mantra, the magic truly lies in the words!

Mantras and stress

A mantra is in essence a form of meditation. And like all mediation, it has the ability to alter your mindset by bringing you a deep sense of calm.

Mindset is THE most important thing you can focus on when trying to do or achieve anything in life. Among other things, your mindset can help you:

  • reach your career goals
  • manage your mental health
  • improve your self-esteem
  • reach your fitness goals
  • make friends

It can also help you attain a much calmer state of mind when you’re feeling stressed out!

The following 5 mantras are specially designed to target a stressed-out mindset. I recommend writing them down either on your phone, on your laptop, or anywhere near your workspace so that you’ll be able to quickly refer back to them the next time you feel your stress levels on the rise!

The 5 anti-stress mantras

Mantra #1: I will not hesitate, I will just do what I need to do

This has worked absolute wonders for me, as I’m sure it will for you too.

If you feel like you’re at a standstill because you just don’t know where to start – this will help give you some clarity and motivation. It will push you along to just start doing what you’ve gotta do! It could be anything from doing your laundry, to exercising, to studying, to working on your goals and dreams!

Mantra #2: I will accept what I cannot control

Many of us tend to get frustrated and stressed out over things that we have no way of controlling. One of the biggest examples is frustration over what other people do.

This is completely wasted energy. Why? Because it’s impossible for you to control! You have NO power over other people – you only have power over yourself. So all you need to focus on? You! This mantra will help remind you of this.

Mantra #3: With every deep breath I take, I feel myself becoming more calm

Taking deep breaths is an amazing way to immediately feel calmer and more at peace. However, when we have an overwhelmed mindset, we often forget about doing this. Instead, we tend to take short, shallow breaths that make us feel more anxious and more on edge!

This mantra will remind you to STOP what you’re doing and take some deep breaths. Once you’ve finished, you’ll be able to return to your work in a much more centred and aligned state of mind.

Mantra #4: I accept myself as I am

A lot of the time we can get quite frustrated and overwhelmed because we doubt ourselves and don’t believe that we can do something. We may fear that if we try something new – whether that’s a new project or just a new recipe – we’ll make a mistake or fail completely.

This way of thinking is toxic, and is just getting in the way of you doing what you need to do! This mantra will help take the focus away from your flaws and help you accept yourself as you are – imperfections and all.

Mantra #5: I’ve done more than enough today

This last one’s designed for all you over-achievers out there (myself included!).

Too often we set WAY too high expectations for ourselves with regards to how much we want to cross off our to-do list. We’re not superhuman, and we’re only awake for about 14-16 hours a day! We need to leave time for resting, enjoying, socializing, eating, etc.

If you’re anything like me though, you’ll constantly feel guilty about not having done enough in your day, regardless of how much you’ve actually done (which is usually more than you think!). This mantra will help remind you to be more realistic. And even if you haven’t had an overly productive day – it happens! You always have tomorrow.

Final thoughts

The more you incorporate these positive anti-stress mantras into your daily routine, the more calm and centred you will feel as you work your way through your to-do list.

Remember: YOU have the power to change your mindset and re-wire your thoughts. All it takes is dedication and practice!

To learn more about how you can harness the power of your thoughts to design your life for the better, check out all of my self-care resources!

  Just want to let ya know: The information and tips on this website are from my personal experience with anxiety and are not a substitute for any type of medical, psychological or health advice. My goal is to empower people struggling with anxiety in non-traditional ways that they can do alongside professional help. 

There is always help out there, and you can find a mental health professional locally, through your doctor, or through an online directory like this one. This is a link to a great article with affordable therapy options and this is an affiliate link to a great online therapy option. If you are in a crisis, I have a list of help hotlines here. You are not alone!!

The anxiety cycle and how to break it

The anxiety cycle and how to break it

  Just want to let ya know: The information and tips on this website are from my personal experience with anxiety and are not a substitute for any type of medical, psychological or health advice. My goal is to empower people struggling with anxiety in non-traditional ways that they can do alongside professional help. 

There is always help out there, and you can find a mental health professional locally, through your doctor, or through an online directory like this one. This is a link to a great article with affordable therapy options and this is an affiliate link to a great online therapy option. If you are in a crisis, there’s a list of help hotlines here. You are not alone!!