“I’m not good enough for that”
“They’re not going to like me”
“There’s no way I could ever do that”
“Ugh I wish I was skinnier”
“I can’t believe I said that. Why did I say that???”
These are just a few examples of things that we say to ourselves that can be completely unfair and definitely not self-loving.
If you find yourself saying any of these things to yourself or anything similar, you can definitely benefit from a 30-day self-love reset.
You can definitely go through these exercises in less or more time than the 30 days, but I feel that 30 days is a good length of time to create a habit of self-love.
I have outlined everything in this post, but if you would like a beautiful printable copy to follow along with, you can sign up below for free!
You’ll also get tons of other printable sheets to help you with self-care, mental health, productivity, and really everything that contributes towards a happy and healthy life!
Why I created 30 Days of Self-Love
I used to be one of those people who did not have much self-love at all.
I was constantly beating myself up about every little thing I did wrong, I would be up all night if I said anything I thought was “stupid”, I was constantly sad if I wasn’t doing as well as other people in school or in my career, and I was unfair to my body because I didn’t look the way I thought I should.
The list goes on.
I didn’t realize that these unhelpful sayings were actually way more toxic than I thought.
These were signs of a severe lack of self-love.
To love someone is to love them for not only for their good qualities but for their flaws as well.
Think about how you give love to others:
You still love your parents even though they’re not perfect.
You still love your friends even though they’re not perfect.
You still love your partner even though they’re not perfect.
You still love your dog even though… wait… nevermind, dogs are perfect!
But you get my point!
You need to love yourself like you love others!
You need to learn to love yourself FOR your flaws and for the amazing strength you have for surviving the things that have made you feel like you are not good enough.
But now, it’s time to change how you think about those things that made you have love for yourself less and start using them as your strengths.
My Biggest Self-Love Breakthrough
When I FINALLY started to truly love myself was when I forgave myself for my mistakes and showed myself compassion for all the things I had been through.
Life is unfair, and there are a lot of great people who get a lot of crap thrown at them that they don’t deserve.
That includes you.
And you have to realize that it’s not your fault that these things happened to you.
People are mean to you because they have problems.
People expect you to be skinny/pretty (or any other annoying standard) because society has problems.
You have unrealistic success standards for yourself because you are comparing yourself to unrealistic standards that don’t reflect reality.
What to Expect for the next 30 Days of Self-Love
So for the next 30 days, we’re going to focus on retraining your brain on how you see yourself, your successes, and your failures.
Each day will build off of the previous day to slowly bring you to having more love for yourself.
Try to do these in the morning so that you can keep the positivity flowing throughout the day!
Related Article: How to create a great goal setting worksheet
Here are some examples.
A daily intention will help you start your day with purpose. You can write the intention (or a new intention) at the top of your journal page every morning so that you can remind yourself every day.
Day 2: Write five positive affirmations about yourself.
Think about different aspects of your personality and why they make you truly unique.
Try to incorporate saying these into your daily routine.
Hint: try things like writing them on your mirror (or on a piece of paper and tape it to your mirror) or saying them when you wake up (along with your daily intention).
Day 3: List all of the toxic things you say about yourself
(I know that you know you’re being toxic to yourself, don’t say that you don’t know which habits are toxic)
But if you don’t know, some toxic habits include:
-beating yourself up over tiny mistakes
-calling yourself stupid
-believing everything is your fault and that you are somehow responsible for how others are feeling
This is going to be a great way to identify when you are being unfair to yourself.
Day 4: Re-wiring thought patterns
This is an exercise that you should do every time you have a negative thought.
Look back at your toxic habits from yesterday’s exercise.
For every bad thought about yourself, write something positive.
For every fear or insecurity you have, write a strength that you have that could help you deal with the fear or insecurity.
Think about why you feel you say those things to yourself. What could be the cause?
Day 5: Write a letter to your childhood self.
What were your insecurities?
How do you feel about them now?
What have you learned since then?
How can you apply that now?
Day 6: Write a letter to your teenage self.
What were your insecurities?
How do you feel about them now?
What have you learned since then?
How can you apply that now?
Day 7: Write yourself a pep talk for when you feel sad or full of doubt.
Sometimes we get caught up in our minds, and our emotions, like fear, doubt, and sadness can cause us to lose sight of all the positive things about us and in our lives. It’s important to have something to look back on when you’re feeling down.
Day 8: What kind of words would your closest friend, sibling, or parent say about you?
And don’t say that they don’t have anything good to say about you, because they definitely do have kind words to say about you, even if you don’t think so.
Day 9: For every “weakness” you think you have, write a strength that you have. Or even better, write ways in which your weakness is actually a strength.
This is another way to rewire your thinking patterns.
Day 10: Write a list of inspirational quotes to look back on.
Here are some of my favourites:
“You’ve been criticizing yourself for years, try approving of yourself and see what happens” – Louise Hay
“In order to love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you” – Andrea Dykstra
“Your greatest responsibility is to love yourself and to know that you are enough” – Unknown
Day 12: Write five things you can do right now that can help you feel better.
This is important because it gives you the power. This is going to help show your brain that you are in control.
Day 13: Think back to the times where you have felt uncomfortable receiving a compliment.
Why do you think that is?
This is a great time to do the “5 why’s exercise”. Where you ask yourself “Why?” 5 times, each time diving deeper and getting to the original root cause of your fear or insecurity.
Day 14: When was the last time you felt empowered and like a true badass?
What were you doing?
Do you remember what you were thinking about yourself?
Try to use these feelings and situations in the future to start feeling like this more often!
Day 15: Write a letter to your insecurities and tell them why they absolutely don’t define you.
What defines you is your character and your will to improve if you’ve done something wrong.
Nothing else really matters.
What would you do? What would you wear? How would you approach people? How would you handle arguments? How would you handle your mistakes?
Day 17: Write down a list of people you admire.
In what ways are you similar to them?
Day 18: What do you need to forgive yourself for?
Stop beating yourself up for every little thing. We are all human and certainly cannot be perfect. It is perfectly ok that you have made mistakes, as long as you can own them and strive to be better next. It’s really all that you can do.
Day 19: Write yourself a letter giving yourself forgiveness.
The act of writing this and letting go of the things that bring you guilt and shame can be very freeing.
This is something you can come back to when you are feeling guilty or shameful.
Day 20: What are your core values? Why do they make you special?
We all have unique ways of adding value to the world and that can make us very special.
Core values include: being kind, supporting the environment, being honest, being loyal, defending others, helping others by giving constructive criticism, and many other things.
Day 21: Write a list of your greatest accomplishments.
Even if they are super small, they are an accomplishment.
Even if it was as simple as getting out of bed
Day 22: Write a list of ways that you add value to the world.
Remember that there are many things that you do that people appreciate about you, but you just don’t realize that they do.
Think about even the smallest things: do you smile at people? Do you make people feel included? Do you hold the door open for people? Do you make a killer lasagna? Whatever it is, know that you add a unique value to the world and that is something to be proud of.
Day 23: What are some things you can work on to be the person that you want to be.
Attention: This does not mean changing yourself or any of your core values! It also does not mean that you are not incredible the way you are. It just means that you can make some adjustments to start working towards your personal goals.
Day 24: Write why it’s OK that you are not there yet.
It’s perfectly ok to not quite be there (or to be far from that “ideal” version of yourself). You are amazing the way you are.
Also, there are things in your life that you have gone through that have caused mental or emotional blocks for you, or maybe have caused
Day 25: Why is it important to you to be this “ideal person”?
Do you feel pressured?
Does it align with your core values?
Day 26: What are your true dreams?
What is standing in your way? Why? Write why it’s ok that you are not there yet. Write actions tips that you can start doing to get closer to that dream.
Day 27: Write something positive about each of your body parts, face, and even your “problem areas”.
Body shame is another huge reason for a lack of self-love, but why should it matter?
Don’t like the look of your legs? They help you walk, dance, run, play sports, you name it! You should be grateful to them, not being ashamed and trying to change them.
Day 28: List your biggest triumphs.
What have you overcome to get where you are today? There have probably been many obstacles you have overcome that you should be so proud of!
Day 29: Imagine you had a friend with all of your exact characteristics.
What positive things would you say to them? What would you tell them if they had a bad day? And what would you say to them if they failed at something?
Trying to see things from a different perspective can help you to go easier on yourself. You wouldn’t judge someone else (especially a friend) nearly as much as you judge yourself.
Day 30: Write 5 positive affirmations about yourself
Yes, you did do this on day two, but I want you to do this again (without looking back to day two) and then compare to see how far you have come on your self-love journey.
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Feel free to look back on any of these exercises when you need a little extra love! Your whole idea of yourself might not change in just 30 days, but it’s definitely worth it to start!
If you want a gorgeous, printable version of this you can sign up below to get access for free!
